Steve: Alright so the makers of this module knew you would pretty much want to play Conan and one of his companions and they didn't want you to mess things up trying to make some sort of wizard or something. So they offer pre-made characters.
Zack: Hmmm, that exclamation mark is enticing. I am tempted to pick Conan just to play him as an effete whiner and drive you crazy, but no, I will pick the obvious number two choice.
Steve: You're going to play a girl?
Zack: Not exactly. I am going to play the lion-maned, be-skirted hero of Gunder. Nestor The Gunderman.
Steve: Do you know anything about Nestor?
Zack: I know he's got feathered hair and a policeman's mustache. What else matters?Steve: Nestor is like one of Conan's truest companions. He began as his enemy but their mutual respect turned them into friends. Ultimately a priest of Anu has Nestor tortured and put to death and Conan goes totally berserk with revenge.
Zack: Nestor is a tragic, doomed hero. No matter how much he practices, no matter how much product he uses on his lovely locks, he is doomed to be tortured to death.Steve: Pretty much.
Zack: Alright, I'm still in.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.