Steve: Tornado man hates cones.
Zack: Are we on the same page on this font shit yet?Steve: I don't know dude, I was more interested in the fact that tornado man has tornado thumbs. Like, he can open tornado doors.
Zack: So this giant, evil Michelin Man is the equivalent of a storm god throwing the Xbox controller at the TV.
Steve: Yeah, if the Xbox controller was like hundreds of feet tall and destroying cities.Zack: I'm afraid it's much worse than that, Steve. Xbox controllers are destroying an entire generation of our tweens with a sedentary lifestyle.
Steve: But Xbox totally makes up for that by preparing them for a lifetime of low level tech supporting by yelling horrible things at strangers over their headsets.
Zack: If you're wondering how you fight something like this thing, well, here's how Craig thinks it would go down:
Zack: Wow, what a blast. Prior to combat buff this monster like crazy then roll to attack everyone all at once and cast multiple spells per round. Then summon another giant, super-powerful monster that also does eight things a turn.
Steve: Yeah, but the imagery of devastation is wicked.Zack: It's a cartoon tornado fist-fighting trees.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.