Zack: Love that they included weird meta-gaming cards in the original series.

Steve: All cards like this were banned from tournaments almost right away.

Zack: So you just use it when you're playing with your friends to make them angry and never want to play with you again? Actually, that's a good idea, because you're going to be playing Magic in a hobby shop next to a bunch of kids playing Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon while their mom sits in the corner on a folding chair and reads The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. And no, she won't have sex with you, because she's married, has a nice house, and she just watched you get in a red-faced yelling match over when you can play a sorcery card. Also you're spilling out of an anime t-shirt and you smell like a gas station egg salad sandwich.

Steve: Way to stereotype your own people, hater.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

About This Column

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.