Zack: "Oh, no. Where's the toilet!?"
Steve: He looks pretty confused by his surroundings.
Zack: "Seriously! I need the shitter like five minutes ago! I'm squeezing but it's got pressure behind it."
Zack: "This thing is gonna go off like a 10-gauge, so if you don't want me to blast a hole in the floor you better point me in the right direction, pronto."
Steve: I don't think I would want to summon one of these dudes. You're painting an unflattering picture.
Zack: "Ah, welp, never mind. Guess who is gonna be too busy scraping magma out of his trunks to block this next attack?"
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.