Steve: Sorry, bro, your punk centaur ain't going nowhere.
Zack: I wonder if centaur grrl has to call her goblin girlfriends over to dye her tail pink.
Steve: I saw a parade once in my town and they had a buggy with horses and my main memory of that parade is that horses just crap and pee everywhere. Like they don't care who or what is going on. The President could be giving this sweet speech on flag day or whatever and the horse is just peeing and pooping really loud and doesn't stop for anything.
Zack: Fascinating, so you would normally expect livestock to pay attention to speeches by politicians?
Steve: Well, I mean I realize horses probably don't care too much about the issues that people are talking about, but there's just like that basic level of respect. Like minimum respect. Do you know what I mean?
Zack: No, hold on, I'm not answering your question. What issues do you think horses care about?
Steve: Getting oats and grass. Not being rode by fat people. Maybe pulling a cart.
Zack: I'm going to stick with you on this. Following your logic, what would a punk centaur grrl want? What issues is she concerned about?
Steve: Horse abortions?
Sleeping with AC is at this point a basic human right. But if you're one of the doomed souls forced to deal with global warming on a nightly basis, here's an hourly breakdown on how to get the most out of your inferno hellscape of a bedroom.
Some of the Internet's most veteran anatomy experts convened to discuss the stolen nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence and other beautiful celebrities.
We're spelunking through the movie catacombs this week. Join us, won't you?
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.