Steve: Sorry, bro, your punk centaur ain't going nowhere.
Zack: I wonder if centaur grrl has to call her goblin girlfriends over to dye her tail pink.
Steve: I saw a parade once in my town and they had a buggy with horses and my main memory of that parade is that horses just crap and pee everywhere. Like they don't care who or what is going on. The President could be giving this sweet speech on flag day or whatever and the horse is just peeing and pooping really loud and doesn't stop for anything.
Zack: Fascinating, so you would normally expect livestock to pay attention to speeches by politicians?
Steve: Well, I mean I realize horses probably don't care too much about the issues that people are talking about, but there's just like that basic level of respect. Like minimum respect. Do you know what I mean?
Zack: No, hold on, I'm not answering your question. What issues do you think horses care about?
Steve: Getting oats and grass. Not being rode by fat people. Maybe pulling a cart.
Zack: I'm going to stick with you on this. Following your logic, what would a punk centaur grrl want? What issues is she concerned about?
Steve: Horse abortions?
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.