Steve: Sorry, bro, your punk centaur ain't going nowhere.
Zack: I wonder if centaur grrl has to call her goblin girlfriends over to dye her tail pink.
Steve: I saw a parade once in my town and they had a buggy with horses and my main memory of that parade is that horses just crap and pee everywhere. Like they don't care who or what is going on. The President could be giving this sweet speech on flag day or whatever and the horse is just peeing and pooping really loud and doesn't stop for anything.
Zack: Fascinating, so you would normally expect livestock to pay attention to speeches by politicians?
Steve: Well, I mean I realize horses probably don't care too much about the issues that people are talking about, but there's just like that basic level of respect. Like minimum respect. Do you know what I mean?
Zack: No, hold on, I'm not answering your question. What issues do you think horses care about?
Steve: Getting oats and grass. Not being rode by fat people. Maybe pulling a cart.
Zack: I'm going to stick with you on this. Following your logic, what would a punk centaur grrl want? What issues is she concerned about?
Steve: Horse abortions?
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.