Zack: Donning a skull necklace and a warlock's collar and then failing to cast a spell is like wearing one of those high-tech swimsuits all the Americans had at the 2010 Olympics and then you jump in the pool and start thrashing around and yelling for the lifeguard.
Steve: I miss the warlock's collar.
Zack: Yes, I also miss three weeks in 1922 when Aleister Crowley convinced several minor lords attending a buggery fest in an abandoned nunnery that capes with collars were sure indications of virility.
Steve: Yeah, sure, you scoff now, but all it takes is the right person in Japan playing scream-rockabilly and wearing a warlock collar and before you know it everyone on TV is wearing one.
Zack: Reality TV could use a dose of gothic melodrama.
Steve: And discussions about potions.
Zack: Ron Ron Juice qualifies as a potion.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.