Steve: There's no doubt who is in charge of Rifts.
Zack: Yeah, you told me right before we started what the guys name is and it made me laugh. What was it?
Steve: Dude that is Emperor Karl Prosek.
Zack: More like Karl Prosek, junior account executive at the company that makes bearings for robot skull dogs.
Steve: Don't get hung up on the name, dude. Look at him that is a boss right there. He is commanding.
Zack: Yeah, sitting on a toilet wearing a Spaceballs helmet with Terminanas out of Pajamas.
Zack: And why does the emperor of anything have knee pads?? He's literally the last person who should kneel ever.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
I've been wanting to meet you all for the past few weeks, but I guess I cut an intimidating figure. I'm the new guy, with the cool job you've all surely been gossiping about. Yep, I'm the Lead Loremaster, and I'm here to enrich everything we do with much-needed lore.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.