Zack: Yech. Wolf man, have you be messing with my tarot cards again??
Steve: Wolf man roommate is the worst.
Zack: Stop tearing open the garbage! And what is this, a hex symbol in blood? You know I paid all of the deposit, right?
Steve: Those tarot cards depict how I live my life though dude: skanky babes with big noses, wild wheelies on my midnight hog cruises, death, and druids.
Zack: Only two things are inevitable: death and druids.
Zack: Wait, hang on, I want to go back. You own a motorcycle?
Steve: Does that blow your mind, dude?
Zack: I would be less surprised if you owned a submarine.
Steve: My mom's boyfriend got it for me. It doesn't run so I've got to fix it up.
Zack: Now this is sounding more believable. You have a broken motorcycle in your garage.
Steve: Out back under a tarp actually.
Zack: Do you have any idea how to fix a motorcycle?
Steve: That's what Youtube is for.
Zack: Right on. Let me know when you get your Devils Diciples jacket.
When I try to clear the ball, run into me at a thousand miles per hour, sending me flying halfway across the map. If the ball is coming down in front of the opposing goal and I'm in position to tap it in, run into me at a thousand miles per hour. Never stop slamming into me at a thousand miles per hour, unless you can slam into me even faster.
eSports are getting more attention, but these new non-nerd spectators have no idea what's going happening. Help them understand how and why you've decided to waste your life with these simple approaches.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.