~PICK OF THE YEAR~
Random Oni Table Rolls
89: Bird;barrel chested, narrow lower abdomen, short thick neck
59: Fish-like head
43: Large wide flat nose, ape like.
75: Normal human eyes
33: Normal mouth, but twice as large, pointed/crooked teeths
86: Bird like clawed hand, powerful arms
47: Upper legs powerfully built, lower legs thin, 2 large clawed toes
08: Covered in tiny scales
58: Jade green
Description: n/aThe Verdict
Zack: Submissions from the criminally insane presents:what daddy looks like when I close my eyes.
Steve: It's like if Yellow Submarine was remade with transparent chicken parts.Zack: Rolled a 30, guess that means he has dinosaur hocks ending in carrot nibs.
Steve: Oops, 88, Crazy Old Lady Lipsticked Turtle Mouth.
Zack: What's that Turdbody Turtle Lady? Kill my family? Well, if you say so!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.