~PICK OF THE YEAR~
Random Oni Table Rolls
89: Bird;barrel chested, narrow lower abdomen, short thick neck
59: Fish-like head
43: Large wide flat nose, ape like.
75: Normal human eyes
33: Normal mouth, but twice as large, pointed/crooked teeths
86: Bird like clawed hand, powerful arms
47: Upper legs powerfully built, lower legs thin, 2 large clawed toes
08: Covered in tiny scales
58: Jade green
Description: n/aThe Verdict
Zack: Submissions from the criminally insane presents:what daddy looks like when I close my eyes.
Steve: It's like if Yellow Submarine was remade with transparent chicken parts.Zack: Rolled a 30, guess that means he has dinosaur hocks ending in carrot nibs.
Steve: Oops, 88, Crazy Old Lady Lipsticked Turtle Mouth.
Zack: What's that Turdbody Turtle Lady? Kill my family? Well, if you say so!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.