Random Oni Table Rolls
68 - Buddha shape
56 - fish-like head
85 - snake nose
7 - large crazy human eyes
1 - toad-like mouth with large, flat teeth
33 - muscular human arms, clawed hands, 2 fingers & a thumb
16 - monkey feet, short stubby legs
60 - no hair on entire body, pale skin
20 - reddish brown skin
Description: Frequently found washed up on rocky beaches, this lumbering fiend preys upon unsuspecting picnickers like an overgrown, sewage-scented ant. A scavenger by nature, he is virtually harmless unless provoked. He also sunburns easily, further solidifying his status as an evolutionary reject. His call is guttural, mournful, and infallibly vomit-inducing.
Nobody's quite sure where he came from, but all we know is that he's never leaving, and that's terrible.The Verdict
Zack: It's like Grantaire brought the crazy guy's sketch to life. And it's even creepier!
Steve: We were only going to give away five prizes, what happened?Zack: I could probably give about 20 people prizes considering how awesome some of these are. I felt like King Shithead not giving awards to some really awesome artwork. I had to stop somewhere so I decided to add an extra winner.
Steve: Zack, no matter what you do, you'll always be King Shithead.
Zack: Congratulations, you've discovered my backyard wrestling name.
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.