Random Oni Table Rolls
68 - Buddha shape
56 - fish-like head
85 - snake nose
7 - large crazy human eyes
1 - toad-like mouth with large, flat teeth
33 - muscular human arms, clawed hands, 2 fingers & a thumb
16 - monkey feet, short stubby legs
60 - no hair on entire body, pale skin
20 - reddish brown skin
Description: Frequently found washed up on rocky beaches, this lumbering fiend preys upon unsuspecting picnickers like an overgrown, sewage-scented ant. A scavenger by nature, he is virtually harmless unless provoked. He also sunburns easily, further solidifying his status as an evolutionary reject. His call is guttural, mournful, and infallibly vomit-inducing.
Nobody's quite sure where he came from, but all we know is that he's never leaving, and that's terrible.The Verdict
Zack: It's like Grantaire brought the crazy guy's sketch to life. And it's even creepier!
Steve: We were only going to give away five prizes, what happened?Zack: I could probably give about 20 people prizes considering how awesome some of these are. I felt like King Shithead not giving awards to some really awesome artwork. I had to stop somewhere so I decided to add an extra winner.
Steve: Zack, no matter what you do, you'll always be King Shithead.
Zack: Congratulations, you've discovered my backyard wrestling name.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.