Don't let hack "gaming journalists" and nefarious redditors try to trick you into playing Gone Home by pretending it's some sort of lame simulator for squares-only activities such as reading a novel and having feelings. Maybe THEY get their jollies luring casual gamers and curious bookworms into a terrifying interactive experience that will haunt their dreams forever, but I consider it my personal duty to expose the truth: Gone Home is actually this year's most exciting horror/exploration shooter!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
You have summoned him and now he is here!