Don't let hack "gaming journalists" and nefarious redditors try to trick you into playing Gone Home by pretending it's some sort of lame simulator for squares-only activities such as reading a novel and having feelings. Maybe THEY get their jollies luring casual gamers and curious bookworms into a terrifying interactive experience that will haunt their dreams forever, but I consider it my personal duty to expose the truth: Gone Home is actually this year's most exciting horror/exploration shooter!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
You have summoned him and now he is here!