Don't let hack "gaming journalists" and nefarious redditors try to trick you into playing Gone Home by pretending it's some sort of lame simulator for squares-only activities such as reading a novel and having feelings. Maybe THEY get their jollies luring casual gamers and curious bookworms into a terrifying interactive experience that will haunt their dreams forever, but I consider it my personal duty to expose the truth: Gone Home is actually this year's most exciting horror/exploration shooter!
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
You have summoned him and now he is here!