Welcome back, Adverse Interests, LLC. It looks like you just completed Operation Roadshow. We hope everything went off without a hitch, unless your scheme involved hitches.

You have five (5) urgent messages awaiting your attention.

Thank you! Your payment of 7,250,000 British pennies was received. You have been charged an additional processing fee of 250,000 British pennies which will be added into your next bill for NionCo subscription.

Take advantage of our specials by signing up for a NionPrime account. This week we are offering half price harlots to our NionPrime members. All Nions available in our harlots category will be 50% off for the rest of the week.

Have a great day!


More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.