The Silverhawks board their silver hawk and rocket into space. Well, they rocket from one point in space to another point in space to be more specific. Bluegrass notes the fact that they're approaching their target destination, so like any good airline pilot, he begins to jettison the passengers out of the cargo locks.

However, in an utterly unpredictable fashion, the Silverhawks somehow survive being shoved out an airlock and begin to magically fly! Wow, being dipped in metal sure does work! I'm going to go jump into a vat of liquid steel tomorrow so I can fly around and breathe in space. I'm young, I'm impressionable, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't. If kids can shoot each other because of violent television shows, why can't I immolate myself in an industrial warehouse accident? I certainly hope the people who created Silverhawks are still in business, as my family will undoubtedly want to sue them.

More Features / Articles

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.