"So long weenie king. We won't meet again."
- Kyo Kusanagi, King of Fighters 95
We are all kings of our own empires: our relationships, kindnesses and 100-hit combos. Within each of us is the power to create a legend or to ring out and disappear ignominiously. Seek the greatness and inspiration to be found in your move list, no matter what path you must walk to achieve mastery.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.