Zack: Looks like the teacher told the class to paint their dreams again.
Steve: My mom grew a mustache and then a pickle with eyes tried to bite me in front of the bay window in the den.
Zack: You tried to run, but no matter how fast you thought you were going you could never leave the Viking helmet.
Steve: No, that's not what happened. I dreamed the pickle spit poison on my lap and then my mom kissed me and said she wanted to marry me and then I woke up and my dog was licking my face.
Zack: That's from the cover?
Steve: What? No, that was my dream last night. I thought we were still looking at the crashed airplane one.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.