Zack: Looks like the teacher told the class to paint their dreams again.
Steve: My mom grew a mustache and then a pickle with eyes tried to bite me in front of the bay window in the den.
Zack: You tried to run, but no matter how fast you thought you were going you could never leave the Viking helmet.
Steve: No, that's not what happened. I dreamed the pickle spit poison on my lap and then my mom kissed me and said she wanted to marry me and then I woke up and my dog was licking my face.
Zack: That's from the cover?
Steve: What? No, that was my dream last night. I thought we were still looking at the crashed airplane one.
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.