Zack: They're not even trying.
Steve: I think this is about what one of those critters from Critters would look like if it turned gay.
Zack: It's sorta like something a grandma would make at the retirement home activity center with about an hour before Jeopardy and half a bottle of glue. Then you'd get it in the mail, the puffball all stuck together with too much glue and one of the eyes fallen off in the envelope, and your mom would make you put it up on the refrigerator. Then when a cat knocked it off you'd throw it in the garbage when no one was looking.
Steve: My grandma knits me sweaters with owls on the front.
Zack: My grandma translates her dementia into real world objects using glue, googly eyes, and popsicle sticks. It turns out going crazy looks a lot like a bunch of junk I made at camp when I was eight.
Steve: This conversation is seriously bumming me out. Could we maybe talk about the lemon with the mohawk chasing around the gay Critter?
Zack: Do you know what it's like to watch a loved one slowly die before your eyes?
Steve: No, dude. No! Stop!
Zack: It's like this game cover.
After years of being misunderstood, I had hoped we finally had "our" story. I was wrong.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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