Zack: They're not even trying.
Steve: I think this is about what one of those critters from Critters would look like if it turned gay.
Zack: It's sorta like something a grandma would make at the retirement home activity center with about an hour before Jeopardy and half a bottle of glue. Then you'd get it in the mail, the puffball all stuck together with too much glue and one of the eyes fallen off in the envelope, and your mom would make you put it up on the refrigerator. Then when a cat knocked it off you'd throw it in the garbage when no one was looking.
Steve: My grandma knits me sweaters with owls on the front.
Zack: My grandma translates her dementia into real world objects using glue, googly eyes, and popsicle sticks. It turns out going crazy looks a lot like a bunch of junk I made at camp when I was eight.
Steve: This conversation is seriously bumming me out. Could we maybe talk about the lemon with the mohawk chasing around the gay Critter?
Zack: Do you know what it's like to watch a loved one slowly die before your eyes?
Steve: No, dude. No! Stop!
Zack: It's like this game cover.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.