Zack: Somebody is pissed.
Steve: You crashed your plane, dude. Get over it.
Zack: "What the hell? 'Crashed airplane' isn't marked anywhere on this lousy map!"
Steve: I know from Survivorman what to do. You take one of the propeller blades and sharpen it and then use it as a knife to cut vines and then you make a trap to catch the grossest thing in the whole jungle.
Zack: But what if the grossest thing in the jungle is...him!?
Steve: I think then he drinks his own pee and explains how you can do that three times and then it's like poison.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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