BobServo: I cannot tell a lie. This kid is creeping me the fuck out.
Brad: What is it about homeschooling that seems to change a kid's face? Like you can be walking down the street and see a kid with a pale, slightly deformed face and know not only that they were homeschooled, but also how absolutely crazy their education was by how off-putting they are.
A creepy smile that's just a little too small for the face? Then at least they used state approved textbooks even though every reference to the outside world was scratched out to keep them from being tempted to take off their blindfolds during the weekly Olive Garden lunch outing. Eyebrows that trail down three inches too long on one side and these weird ass white pimples under his eyes like he's got a disease you can catch just from him looking at you? That kid's entire understanding of the universe is based on Veggie Tales and a painting of Jesus hanging over the fire place he stares at five hours every day to fulfill the history requirement.
BobServo: George Washington called. He wants to know why a slave cut him off on the highway this morning.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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