BobServo: I cannot tell a lie. This kid is creeping me the fuck out.
Brad: What is it about homeschooling that seems to change a kid's face? Like you can be walking down the street and see a kid with a pale, slightly deformed face and know not only that they were homeschooled, but also how absolutely crazy their education was by how off-putting they are.
A creepy smile that's just a little too small for the face? Then at least they used state approved textbooks even though every reference to the outside world was scratched out to keep them from being tempted to take off their blindfolds during the weekly Olive Garden lunch outing. Eyebrows that trail down three inches too long on one side and these weird ass white pimples under his eyes like he's got a disease you can catch just from him looking at you? That kid's entire understanding of the universe is based on Veggie Tales and a painting of Jesus hanging over the fire place he stares at five hours every day to fulfill the history requirement.
BobServo: George Washington called. He wants to know why a slave cut him off on the highway this morning.
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
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