Yute Hoolskaf wears the Shahrazad Tummy Teaser party-cut panty with bejeweled hip belt and slender dangle with soft silk opera gloves.

Pinion-Runnel: I have surveyed more aesthetically appealing human females.

Tensor: You only wish that you could have a chance with a human female such as the one depicted in this image.

Pinion-Runnel: I do not fear her.

Tensor: A mistake. Humans possess unlimited potential for danger.

Pinion-Runnel: We are set in motion by our need. Fear is a limitation imposed by the mind upon the perfection of action. So says the stone.

Tensor: So says the stone.

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.