A special thanks goes out to IFC's Automat for sponsoring this week's Phriday. Automat is a dazzling multimedia destination choke-full of original comedy series, shorts, music, and more. If you fancy both sights & sounds, give it a whirl!

Human beings naturally hate looking at old movies. If it was made more than ten years ago, it is too unpleasant to look at. Maybe it lacks definition, familiar faces and comforts, or good special effects. Either way, sooner or later, every movie has to be remade. This week the Something Awful Forum Goons update some classic movies, giving them the modern talent they need to thrive in this complicated world science and super sorcery. Behold the horror!

bunky has a Blart of Gold.

kingstefan has started buying grapes in preparation for this California Raisins reunion everyone's talking about.

Judge legislates from the heart.

A hellbastard is the worst kind of bastard there is.

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.