Mutant Blue's soldier intimidates the other pineapple-toss competitors with his thousand-yard sneer.
Squirt The Daisies touts marshmallow-toasting as fun for the whole family.
Yabanjin uses a winning smile and a hearty "Oh, yeah!" to escape punishment for wanton destruction.
"Look at these poor schmucks, Slight But Steady. They drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans -- it just turns my stomach."
You Will Read This Headline. Then You'll Laugh. Then You'll Realize You Were Wrong All Along.
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