Mutant Blue's soldier intimidates the other pineapple-toss competitors with his thousand-yard sneer.


Squirt The Daisies touts marshmallow-toasting as fun for the whole family.


Yabanjin uses a winning smile and a hearty "Oh, yeah!" to escape punishment for wanton destruction.


"Look at these poor schmucks, Slight But Steady. They drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans -- it just turns my stomach."


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    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

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    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

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