Mutant Blue's soldier intimidates the other pineapple-toss competitors with his thousand-yard sneer.


Squirt The Daisies touts marshmallow-toasting as fun for the whole family.


Yabanjin uses a winning smile and a hearty "Oh, yeah!" to escape punishment for wanton destruction.


"Look at these poor schmucks, Slight But Steady. They drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. The idea of slaughtering Americans -- it just turns my stomach."


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    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

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