"Arsenal" has a cereal that lasts a lot longer than you want it to:
"GoatRearEnd" harnesses the strength of many men each morning.
"Shadowkaster" brings us a cereal that can't even act like it tastes good:
"modestm" launched this cereal out of his groin area:
Each box of this "rivetz" cereal comes packaged with a stupid penis joke:
"scrutinizer" wants you to choke on bad, creepy art films:
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
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