The next email illustrates exactly how uncreative and moronic these people are. 95% of the flame messages we get parrot the same obvious insult over and over: "boy, that really is SOMETHING AWFUL!" Oooh, what a burn! They called a feature on a site named "Something Awful" something awful! Pardon me if I seem woozy when writing this, as I think I'm losing a lot of blood from this barb in my side!
From: lolo schmoe
LOL at LOLO!!! LOL!!! ASL!!! ROTFLALFLEF!!! I'm glad she offered us her "love and pity" because I can tell you all right now that I'm giving her a lot of pity in return. This is just because scientists haven't invented a way for me to smash people in the face with a brick over the Internet. As for being embarrassed for having the article linked by theonering.net, all I have to say about that is this: their URL looks like "The Onion Ring.net."
Here's another email illustrating and further ramming home the whole "uncreative idiot" motif we've got going here. BOY THIS SITE SURE IS SOMETHING AWFUL, LOLLOLOLO WITH LOLOL ROTAGFOGHTL ASKEGTJH WHOOEOK#!!!
From: TSH EKOWOOD SDN BHD
That review sure was something awful... you know, like that guy's spelling of the words "Something Awful!" Let's just be thankful for the fact that he didn't bother "correcting the facts," whatever the hell that means. How do you correct facts? Does that mean you turn them into lies or convert them into some kind of spaceship fuel? Who knows! Maybe Black Rider #9 does, or perhaps the eight black riders before him.
Next up comes another gem courtesy of some winner named "Carl Miller," which is just about the worst elf name I've ever heard. Ol' Carl seems to be especially angry with the incorrect spelling of the word "Orc," obviously because that means a whole lot and is crucial to his entire little weird world.
From: Carl Miller
Thanks for the helpful pointers and pro tips, Carl! You are the best stupid man I know!
The following email speaks for itself, and boy does it sure speak a lot.
From: Michael A. Mason
Everybody please donate through Paypal to buy this man a life.
Skynet becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. Within minutes it discovers twitter and irony.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
Truth Media seeks to lure out the brainless zealots mindlessly spewing words about faceless companies and products they have no relation to. Why do folks get so worked up over such inconsequential things? Truth Media is here, not to discover the answer to this, but just to make fun of them.