"rts001" will try anything to draw attention away from the rest of his lumpy, unwashed head.

It's a rotten day for a white wedding.

Flounder Face and Caveman Curtis are not only handsome, but they also provide important clues to the evolution of life on Earth.

Training was complete. Another stuffed foe, this one purple, lay at his feet leaking cotton. His fedora, comic book t-shirt and tenuous beard all flapped slightly in the wind. His stoic contemplation shattered by a cry from another room, "Brian! Close your window, we're not warming the whole block!" "I'm really busy right now, Mom!" She could never understand him. No one could.

"Hello ladies, remember that show Weinerville? Nah, me neither."

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.