Dang kids today and their Satanic mall hogwash.

Discounts and big savings pull you away from the kingdom of Heaven!

I like Kristi, but she's no Sandy when it comes to talking about nuclear war.

What the fuck? Are these people for real?

Heck yeah! I'm totally going to fight along Jesus and stab some bad guy a bunch of times and say, "Now you're hole-y!"

Jesus is going to be so pumped when he sees all these smilies.

More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.