Underground Hip Hop
Like dead dudes who are all rotting and stinky, most things that are underground probably are for a reason. "Black is beautiful"? "Once you go black you never go back"? "Always bet on black"? Do these catchphrases mean nothing to you?!
Well, now I'll never be able to look at the Drew Carey Show with a straight face again. Not that it's on TV anymore, but still.
I had something all lined up to say about fat people but I remembered Lou Ferrigno existed and I started thinking about how badass he was and I lost my train of thought.
"I know not the weapons with which World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with fat people and 9-volt batteries."
Last Thursday if you listened really closely you may have heard millions of people cry out, "Holy crap, I drive a better car than Haley Joel Osment?!"
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
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