Hey, remember this guy? He was hot stuff on the Internet years ago for peddling immortality rings and bracelets and anklets and all that. I always thought the whole thing was pretty cute but it seems the ravages of time have turned him into a bitter and jaded businessman fed up with a world that no longer buys into his wild schemes.
Only the silliest sons of bitches have no idea that rings with magnets in them make you live forever!
Alex Chiu has worked off more butts than you'll ever have in your entire life! Believe it, mister!
"mattisimus" must have been wearing his pajama bottoms with the feet sewn in.
I was just thinking how nice it was Alex hasn't mentioned having people lick his butt hole yet.
You'll show them all someday, my friend.
I sort of don't want to take any pills from someone who thinks he has the power to cheat death. It's just a little quirk I have.
All the amazing predictions from The Simpsons that finally came true in 2016.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
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