"Kelly's" husband must be one lucky guy.
Oh the perils of being a goth! Don't bother reading this shit unless you're really bored or you have a high tolerance for pointless purple text.
The only thing better than a day in the life of a goth is a day in the life of a goth who can't spell worth a shit.
If you ever threw golf balls at a kid named "moonshine kat," I just want to let you know that your days are numbered, mister!
Coming up next: how NOT to pick up men.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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