In times like this you must consult the Magic 8-Ball then do whatever it says.

This never happened when I played Playstation.

Here's a post by a creepy 40-year-old shut in who isn't allowed to live near schools.

This one too.

Yes, it's a normal part of any boy's life to have their friend blackmail them into sucking him off.

Jackass stole my idea.

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