Say what you will, but these guys can be very inventive. I wish I had thought of this.


Many of these stories start out pretty normal, but end up going terribly, terribly wrong.


You know, foreskins aren't that great. Get over it.


See.


Same thing happened with me and Mass Effect. I got into the hype. Fortunately jerking off actually delivered the goods. Mass Effect, not so much.


When I have kids I'm not letting them even hear the term "doctor" until they are 18. Anything to keep shit like this from going down.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.