Premature ejaculation? Come on, these women expect us to be on time when they're always late! Can you say double standard?!


Glans... what a filthy word. Hey Rick, show me your glans. Sure thing, Bob. I don't think that'd be sexy even if I were gay.


There aren't too many of these in today's article but make sure you click on this image to see the whole thing. Rosie is a blowup doll he got when he was 14. Probably!


Since when did you have to "come out" with the fact that you have a small penis?


Here's the other oversized image for this week. Click on it if you want to read about a tragic story between father and son.


I don't think I'd post in this forum even if I were under 4.5 inches erect.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.