What's the problem here? You're ashamed. Aren't you being the perfect Christian?
Yeah, your "friend".
Oh don't fret. I'm sure you'll find someone as fucked up as you to live a life of shame with.
What the hell? Accountability?
Everytime you masturbate Satan kills a religious fundamentalist. Keep up the good work guys!
The answer is no. Amen.
If I were you I would just masturbate. Oh wait.
WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT. FUCK
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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