She wears GLASSES? Gross!!!!!
I've had dreams about things that look like this crawling on all fours and chasing me around my house. Not the good kind of dreams.
"I only loved you for your urine."
It's a trick, ladies!
If you have to post on Craigslist looking for women you saw at Walmart, you should just go ahead and slice those genitals off right now.
This is probably what every computer guy secretly dreams about, only he has the balls to come out and say it.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
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