She wears GLASSES? Gross!!!!!
I've had dreams about things that look like this crawling on all fours and chasing me around my house. Not the good kind of dreams.
"I only loved you for your urine."
It's a trick, ladies!
If you have to post on Craigslist looking for women you saw at Walmart, you should just go ahead and slice those genitals off right now.
This is probably what every computer guy secretly dreams about, only he has the balls to come out and say it.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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