May is one of my favorite months because it's the time when the unwashed come out of the very smelly woodwork to rave and moan about video games they won't even play for another six months or more. I'm not talking about the "That looks cool," and "I'll probably buy that," guys, I'm talking about dudes with actual emotional investments in this shit. They were all over the Internet this week and the forum goons knew where to look, including right under our very noses.
It's not often you're able to surmise how greasy a keyboard is just by reading a post that came out of it, but I'm getting some serious vibes here. If I had to guess, I'd say "Customer Service's" home row is approaching KFC levels.
I hate myself and I want to die.
"TEH" and "NEWB"
Crappy analogy involving video games
Crappy analogy involving video games and fast food
Crappy analogy involving video games and fast food and still being hungry after eating an entire fast food meal
Draw your own conclusions and then stuff that drawing in an envelope and mail it to Art Bell.
I really wish there was footage from this grown man's video game fit.
Moisture comes in contact with "Ice Blue's" face for the first time since the Great Hot Pocket Filling Leak of '04.
Okay, he's not obese he's just storing fat for hibernation. Good excuse, "Forzan."
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
There are hundreds of stories happening on the World Wide Web. Let me tell you, that's a very wide web. Our goal at Weekend Web is to bring you the latest headlines from around the Internet. We go into the very bowels of message boards everywhere and find out what millions of online citizens have to say.