Who are these giant-headed monsters, and why do they keep buying and reviewing face accessories?!?
Oh, one of my neighbors decided they needed a new Cyber Monday TV? Nope. It's my TV now. It was hard to get into my trunk, but it’s worth it to think about how whoever bought this is sitting at home, enjoying their existing TV, realizing that life isn't just about a constant string of hardware upgrades.
Forever accompanying fine art, especially contemporary fine art, is the argument ‘that's not even art.’ Well, everything I’ve included here is art. It's shitty art that says nothing and is worth even less, but it's still art. That's the cool thing about art! Wait, no, the cool thing about art is when it's good and makes you get ideas or feelings.
Haha! Who would want to be an extremely beautiful, voluptuous lady, clad in red strip-string, dancing the night away, with your regular legs hanging from your massive, sagging hips? That wouldn't be fun at all. Best to sneer so no one accidentally thinks I would want to do this on Halloween, or in March, or next month, or on my birthday.
Read the shirt, jock-tard! It doesn't say keep ANGRY and vape on. It says keep calm. Fairly classic meme. But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving. You win this one, if you consider being unenlightened about vape tech to be a win. Which you probably would.
Has the mobile-computing revolution freed us from the cycle of consumption? YES! Now, instead of buying crap to cheer us up about spending long hours away from our family and friends, we can keep in touch with them throughout the day, reinforcing the bonds with those who matter to us. Haha, just kidding, now we need to buy shit for our phones too.
Right around the time when the first bacon-based lubricrants hit the market, the pigs began to go sterile. They’d simply ingested too much trash. And not long after that, the same thing happened to us. Greasing ourselves with bacon-lube as we tried to procreate didn’t help.
You see, evolutionarily speaking, everything is about sex. For human society to continue, we have to mate. So why dance around it with Halloween costumes like 'huge boner' and 'short M&M dress with snarling candyboobs'? Just strap a plug around your waist and put your date in an electrical-socket sack!