Original Gothic Poetry, submitted by R-Lo. One thing the world needs more of is gothic poetry. I have noticed a serious and deeply saddening decline in the volume of goth poetry being written, replaced with a new breed of Linkin' Park inspired angsty youths. Their terrible "kid angrrr" poetry just doesn't match up to the insane melodrama of a goth poetry mastermind. Thankfully "Ghost" will at least keep us in black velvet wedding dresses crying tears of blood for a few more days!
Laughter starts, laughter ends
Go, come, start, stop, begin -
Go to the circus, go to the zoo,
Go to the fair, go to the rodeo,
Life is unfair
Unfair, unfair, unfair, unfair
On and on and on and on
Forever, forever, forever, forever
Help, help, help, help
WAIT ONE GODDAMN MINUTE! What the hell is this ripoff crap?! The ZOO?! THE COCKSUCKING RODEO?! Ghost, you son of a bitch, what are you doing? You are supposed to be writing about rain and ravens and a vampire. Hell, a poem about Slimer from Ghostbusters would be more goth than this shit. Let's give him one more chance to redeem himself.
She came to me
She gave to me
She ran with me
She died with me
A crashing down world
17 years ago
For 17 years
Whew! That's a relief. Ghost could use some work with his description, not enough use of words like "tomb", "sepulchre", or "Unholy Dread Lord of the Abyss Magog Thule". Still, Ghost has a promising career ahead of him of making fake suicide attempts until he graduates from highschool and then dropping out of state college to work as a frycook.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.