Aliens and UFOs Among Us, submitted by PhReaKy. A wonderfully bad Flash animation welcomes you to a site detailing alien visitations to earth. The most interesting section of the site is definitely the user stories about personal close encounters with various aliens. These encounters range from seeing an odd light in the sky while walking a dog to psychically communicating with an alien woman who is trying to pick you up for a nasty threesome with her alien husband.

Last night, September 6th, 2001, I walked into a bar called the "Golden Mum" restaurant in Bremerton, Wa. I sat at the bar and I was feeling a bit distressed because of a personal situation that had just occurred. I immediately became aware of two people directly behind me. One was a man about 43 wearing a bandana, blue sweatshirt and jeans. The other was a woman around 35 with short dark hair, thin with fairly light skin, wearing a blue skirt and top. She had elfish features and the man looked and acted as if he could have had some military background. I became interested in their conversation for some reason unknown to me for at first their conversation seemed ordinary. They were talking about other people they knew. The woman seemed to be receptive to my observation. Suddenly the conversation switched and she began interpreting my thoughts for him. Whatever I said in my head she would repeat to him as a psychic interpreter. I was sitting at the bar and they were located right directly behind me. She seemed to be the one with the real talent as far as I could tell but who knows what knowledge he may have had. She began talking about me. At first she said she felt that I was a nice person but the man said my energy level was low. I spoke back to them mentally that I had been partying the night before and that was why. She immediately said, "she was partying the night before and that was why her energy level was low." She found me somewhat attractive and liked me but the man said he had no interest in anybody on this rock and he wasn't interested in my body type anyway. She seemed to want me to go somewhere with them but the man was opposed to the idea.

The conversation was so detailed it was beyond any chance that it wasn't meant for me. I told her psychically that this was great material for songwriting since I'm in a rock band and that I'll have to write a song about this experience." She repeated this back to the man. She told him I was in some kind of a rock group. I psychically told her a little about the band members and she told the man about that too. He seemed to take interest in Derek. He said that he stood out. He began actually describing each ones personality and essence. She again mentioned that she wanted me to go with them and he said, "you really want her to go don't you?" He was prone to think the starbase at the North Star wouldn't be too pleased with the idea. I psychically told her the only way I could go was if my son could go too. She told the man that and mentioned something about Blaze being an observant type but a thief. The man seemed to dis the human race and seemed to have zero tolerance or interest in humans. He said something about them just being toys or boring creatures. I could hear perfectly and see them perfectly too because the woman was sitting 1 foot away and the man was sitting across the table from the woman. At one point I turned and said, "this is the most interesting conversation I've ever had." He said, "I bet." We got a bit philosophical after a while and he seemed to be a little more impressed in the end. I got sick of his arrogant attitude after a while and I asked, "If you're so unimpressed with the human race and if you're so great and so high above us it surely doesn't come through because you're arrogance is very human." He seemed to like that. This psychic conversation lasted for about 20 minutes and I swear after last night I'll never be the same again. It was the most exiting experience I've ever had. I want to meet those beings again someday.

I might add that the woman describing this encounter is a 42 year-old massage artist who hangs out in restaurants and tries to mentally communicate with random couples. This adds a lot to her credibility I must say! Sadly it doesn't even come close to making her the most idiotic sounding person on the site.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful