Dukakis in a motherfucking tank

In 1988, despite Ronald Reagan's popularity, it seemed like people were finally ready to forgive the Democratic Party for Jimmy Carter and elect Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis over Reagan's own Vice President, George H.W. Bush. Dukakis had a very comfortable lead in the polls and had lead to a massive growth of his state's economy during his governorship dubbed the "Massachusetts Miracle". It seemed all Dukakis needed to do was A) put "being a governor" aside for like 3 months to campaign and B) not do anything stupid.

Unfortunately for Dukakis, he did neither. Rather than campaign, he focused on his duties as governor and rather than "not do anything stupid", he "did something stupid". To counteract the perceived "squishy on national defense" perception of the Democratic Party, good ol' Mike decided to put on a helmet and drive around in a tank. Yeah, that'll show 'em!

It's pretty telling when your ad is so utterly miserable in nearly every single way imaginable that your opponent can literally take your exact same ad, put their own talking points over it, and use it to just utterly own your ass.

As much as this ad hurt the Dukakis campaign, it actually didn't manage to sink it totally. That particular moment came during one of the debates when the moderator asked this incredibly neutral, non-partisan question:

Moderator: Gov. Dukakis, you say you're against the death penalty but WHAT IF YOUR WIFE WAS RAPED AND MURDERED.

Dukakis: Um, well, I'd still be against it. I don't think the state should kill people.

Moderator: Good job having principles, faggot. Enjoy your crushing defeat on Nov. 4th.

Dukakis: Whatev. My wife's a drunk ass trick anyway. Ho drink rubbing alcohol and shit. GodDAMN.

If four years of Dana Carvey impersonations on SNL didn't clue you in, Bush won.

More AwfulVision

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful