Hamiltonian Bicycle's idea of Polish turkeys is horribly racist. There's nothing wrong with proud American poultry, so why look abroad?

The following three inventions come from hellbastard, who has created more worthless ideas in his time than Jerry Betamax.

Iron Bitchface lives in perpetual fear of the mythical pyromaniac mummy.

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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