Zack: "You will pay for interrupting my balloon animal class!"
Steve: This like creates the whole Drow image of the black and purple woman with the white hair that graced the cover of many D&D books over the years.
Zack: Did it ever bother you that the most important matriarchy in Dungeons & Dragons was a subterranean realm of evil sadists?
Steve: You can't apply modern tumblr theory to this stuff, dude. It's not about disrespecting the babes. Gary Gygax probably read an Encyclopedia Brittanica about female spiders eating their mates and he was like, "What if they were like scary ladies who were really into spiders instead?"
Zack: And then he had them put his mother's face on a giant evil spider and the rest is history.
Steve: A history of amazing adventures in the Underdark, one of the most richly-realized places in the history of role playing games.
Zack: Yeah, the evil cave is right up there with the castle and the tavern.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.