Steve: There were some alien ladies before but this is the first definite alien babe. Look at that, she's like a goo lady busting out of goo town.
Zack: I guess if you want to credit something like first alien babe, but since all you seem to care about is babes, I I think you're missing out on a cover that has much more going for it.
Steve: I resent that so much, dude. Babes are crucial here, I mean, it's Heavy Frickin' Metal. But babes aren't everything.
Zack: Yeah, well if you need a babe, you can't do better than the screeching bird lady with her huge knockers out blasting something with her shoulder cannon from the very next month.
Steve: Ah, I see your point. What do you think they're shooting at?
Zack: Probably whatever was on the cover of Dirtbag Biker. Like a David Mann painting of a motorcycle being driven by Satan with a huge breasted blond woman on the back of the bike.
Steve: That is a war that I want to see.
Zack: Christians don't like to talk about it, but when the devil fell from heaven, onto a Harley Davidson of course, he was chased by a big titty angel shooting lasers.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.