Steve: I didn't realize there was a Hebrew version of Mahjong.
Zack: Alright, Wizards of the Coast, I have a new rule for you: the length of boring rules text on a card must be inversely proportional to the excellence of the artwork. If the rules wouldn't fit in a tweet you'd better not pair the text with something that looks like a domino with a grocery list chiseled into it by elves.
Steve: How long should it be for this one?
Zack: One word. Like "bands" or "mountainwalk" or something. You get something like the original Stasis artwork that's boring and it looks like it was painted by a learning-disabled child then you get one letter.
Zack: No, half a letter. I want to see part of an "S" cut off like a printing error.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Rifts Worldbook 10: Juicer Uprising (1996)
- Magic the Gathering: Alpha (original set, 1993)
- Heroes Unlimited (1984/1993)
- Space: 1889 (1988)
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
