Zack: The best magic cards are the ones that sound like medicines your grandma used to take for dyspepsia.

Steve: I know what you mean. One dude draws on the power of forbidding swamps to conjure a floating skull that can like take control of the minds of orcs or something and then some dude is like "By the power of these islands, give me a bottle of oil."

Zack: "99 cents at the Jewels. I'll get ya ten for five dollars. You don't even gotta tap no islands."

Steve: But that skull dude is gonna be mighty surprised when an elephant skips over some islands and busts out his glowing evil brain.

Steve: Magic isn't Pokemon dude, it's subtle strategies at work. You got to plan ahead.

Zack: It's like chess for obese teenagers and manchildren paying rent to their mothers.

Steve: I do not have to pay rent and I'm only back for like six months tops.

More WTF, D&D!?

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.