Zack: Well, that didn't work out. Can I get another run at it?
Steve: No, a crazy eight year old is not getting another stab at this one. Chang and Sharon weren't dead though, that's the good news. Since there was no running water they were off frolicking in a nearby stream. They come back, see this thing rampaging around the house, and they get the hell out of there.
Zack: And Mitch?
Steve: Found wandering in the woods by the army when they are finally called in to drop poison gas bombs on an "out of control plant." The gas ends up wiping out most of the livestock and farmland around the town, so that's pretty much it.
Zack: I don't even know what I was supposed to do different on this one. I'm stymied, Steve.
Steve: Yeah, it's brutal. It straight up tells you to kill off investigators one by one, but you figured out basically what this thing was in a hurry. Although the back story is crazy.
Zack: What is it?
Steve: Long story short, this thing is evil god poop that came to life and got stuck to Cornthwaite's shirt. He brought a tiny bit back with him from the jungle and it grew into this thing by eating everyone it could get.
Zack: So will Mitch Nestle be making a comeback or is he in a sanitarium for good?
Steve: Dude that one is up to you. You're running the next one.
Zack: See you next time folks!
If you're hankering for more horror from Zack Parsons, check out his novel Liminal States. It won't kill your entire party, but it may ruin a weekend.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.