Zack: Somebody needs to tell the evil lord of this castle that sometimes less is more.
Steve: That's the problem dude. Nobody could tell him anything. He's all, "Skulls all the way up the walls and on the doors, skull faucets, skull carpeting and then the whole front of the castle should be a big evil skull."
Steve: Nobody is telling that guy. "Whoa, hold on here, let's be practical."
Zack: Yeah, I suppose even if they were inclined to for aesthetic reasons, no rotting, deathless architect worth his belly maggots is going to refuse this sort of work.
Steve: More spikes! More skulls! And Frank Lloyd Wight is nodding and drawing dollar signs on his blueprint.
Zack: I think you mean blackprint.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.