Zack: Do you think he likes bats?
Steve: Now this dude I am down with. Giant swords and wicked bone dudes are a hallmark of great fantasy artwork.
Zack: They had you at glowing-eyed skeletons.
Steve: Skeleton armies commanded by wicked wizard skeletons are a powerful image that connect with our primordial fears of our skeletons being evil. They're just waiting for us to die to start forming their army.
Zack: Clever, waiting until we least expect it.
Steve: And of course bats are also evil, because you can't trust a bird that only comes out at night.
Zack: Couple things there: a bat is not a bird, it's a mammal, and lots of birds come out at night. Like all owls.
Steve: Never trust an owl.
Zack: What about with Tootsie Pop related inquiries?
Steve: That's nasty you want an owl licking your Tootsie Pop? Getting his owl tongue all over it and then beak-biting that thing? Gross.
Zack: When you put it like that, it does sound evil.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Play your entire PS1 library from a single SD card. But not your Brady Strategy Guides.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.