Hydrogen: Well, I think this brings us to the ultimate question: what's the deepest permanent mental scar we'll take away from this one?
Trillaphon: How about the uncomfortably long and completely non-verbal Skinemax-esque dog-necking scene, complete with keytar solo (and maybe some other music somebody might have masterfully/handsomely added later to possibly set the mood, allegedly)?
Trillaphon: Considering the lyrics and all the stupid legends about that song, along with the the insane sinister plot of this movie, that's like a quintuple entendre right there.
Hydrogen: I think I have to go with the polygender Scottish cannon fodder being promoted to field marshal after blowing up one bad guy, because that's how war works in the ocean:
Trillaphon: The real ultimate question is what improbable chain of events led to Legend of the Titanic having a goddamn sequel made.
Hydrogen: Follow-up ultimate question: how was it humanly possible to make a sequel to Legend of the Titanic that would end up scoring even lower than the original's 1.3/10 IMDB rating?
Trillaphon: The answer is somehow related to a grand finale involving putting the Titanic back together and parking it at a secret desert island that nobody can ever leave, and they're stuck hanging out with the products Satan's Infernal Toyshop having a 24/7 dance party forever.
Hydrogen: Oh man, what if all of the characters actually died and went to Hell, and the whole Titanic being saved thing from the last movie was just a cruel hallucination? This is some next-level shit.
|Music / Sound||-9|
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.