Hydrogen: Should we tell them about how that Merman guy sounds exactly like Garry Marshall when he talks?
Trillaphon: Maybe we should skip to the part where there's like 4 Garry Marshalls running around and half the characters sound exactly the same because the 5 voice actors playing all of them didn't even bother trying to change their voices at all?
Hydrogen: Actually, let's just focus on the fucking dialogue:
Trillaphon: This is the kind of weird paranoid dialogue you could only get from filtering the jittery fever dreams of an insomniac Italian cartoonist crashing from a 3-day binge of 70s anime and merciless espresso shits through three different poorly-translated language filters. Note the crazy rationalizations for random shit, like "This can't be hell, look at how pretty my face is! If this were hell I would be ugly, and look like the devil!"
Hydrogen: "If they wanted to hurt us, they wouldn't be nice!"
Trillaphon: "This strange liquid couldn't be harmful, it's such a pretty color!"
Hydrogen: Between this and the oddly sinister musical numbers, I may never be able to sleep again.
Trillaphon: I dunno, I kind of like all the hamfisted foreshadowing; it really inches the plot forward with the kind of subtlety and nuance you rarely find outside of snaggle-toothed hags hocking cursed talismans at vaguely racist oriental ghost bazaars during the cloying setup phase of Spielberg flicks.
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.