Chapter 2: A Second Life Lochner
Business began, as it so often does, under the direction of organized crime.
Gangsters rolled through the streets, with little to fear from the law of the land.
Heroes and whores alike hobnobbed in speakeasies and saloons.
As the economy grew, so did the need for natural resources.
We strip-mined the land in order to promote progress.
Even the ether did not escape our efforts.
And for all its benefits, progress sure made the morning commute rougher.
This Week on Something Awful...
I forced a bot to watch 1,000 hours of Donald Trump speeches and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
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Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Official Something Awful MERCHANDISE MADNESS!!!
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About This Column
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.
Previous Articles
- Second Life Sucks: The Reckoning
- Spartan Army
- Griefzilla
- Alien Invasion
- MTV Virtual Worlds: Lusty Lifeguards
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