Hello, here's this week's obligatory video that I didn't watch because it was too long and boring.
"dude :O are u retarted:O"
"its so hard to understand you dude, your like that handicapped kid from malcolm in the middle lol, except your white. i wanted to listen but couldn't and gave up after the 3 min mark, maybe get someone else to talk for you next time eh? oh well........ TIMMY!!"
"so not watching porn dose not make me a man and where the hell will i find internet porn hmm i shoud search that on google sometimes when im not on youtube"
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!